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emordnilap
Joined: 05 Sep 2007
Posts: 9467
Location: way out west
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 Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 10:54 am Post subject: |
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The jet ski; the outdoor heater; the quad; the golf cart; the escalator; the automatic door; the air conditioner; the satnav; the plasma tv; the tumble drier; the ride-on mower; the helicopter; the personal jet; the American dream.
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The human appears to have no idea what its ideal diet should be; has self-inflicted diet-related diseases; causes extensive environmental destruction through basic food production & creates pathogenic infestations that widely infect its food supply. |
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Mean Mr Mustard
Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1415
Location: Cambridgeshire
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| Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 1:33 pm Post subject: |
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To quote Roger Waters,
| Quote: | | I think I need a Lear Jet. |
Welcome y'all, to the American Dream Hall!! Experience a short escalator ride, and sit on soft furnishings in the air conditioned foyer (for up to ten minutes only).
Exhibits are as listed above, and more!
You can 'mow' the (astroturf) lawn on our sit-down mower for just £2500 for five minutes. (Age restrictions apply) While your friends and family sit on the patio, complete with patio heaters (don't worry, they're display only, in accordance with the law, which as everyone knows, has long imposed severe punishments for actual use.)
A friendly warning though for the easily impressed - we're going to bombard you with advertisements for stuff you don't need and even some dubious medications to help you cope. That was really how they lived back then.
Then, brace yourselves as you enter the darkened hall next door -
A Fate Worse than Debt.
| Quote: | Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends -
We're so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside!
There behind a glass, stands a real blade of grass
Be careful as you pass, move along, move along...
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1855 Advertisement for Kier's Rock Oil -
"Hurry, before this wonderful product is depleted from Nature’s laboratory."
The Future's so Bright, I gotta wear Night Vision Goggles... |
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SleeperService
Joined: 02 May 2011
Posts: 923
Location: Nottingham UK
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| Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Mean Mr Mustard wrote: | The museum restoration team are looking to complete research on a HGV in the colours of a bottled water company. The colour scheme is currently speculative, as it seems many of these lorries adopted anonymous markings. This followed the backlash against transporting of plastic bottles of water by road to people who already had a water supply.
Naive spelt backwards...? |
Hmmm... and what was in my lorry today, yep H2O to Manchester 
Close second premade sandwiches you wouldn't believe the routing they take.
I'll just duck now 
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On the point of giving up and dropping out.... |
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Mean Mr Mustard
Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1415
Location: Cambridgeshire
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| Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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OK SleeperService.... Consider yourself forgiven - if you would kindly provide the museum research staff with some details of your 2000 mile BLT in wholemeal bread with a plastic coating.
_________________
1855 Advertisement for Kier's Rock Oil -
"Hurry, before this wonderful product is depleted from Nature’s laboratory."
The Future's so Bright, I gotta wear Night Vision Goggles... |
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Mean Mr Mustard
Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1415
Location: Cambridgeshire
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| Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:17 pm Post subject: |
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The Museum of the Oil Age is very pleased to show its latest acquisition:
_________________
1855 Advertisement for Kier's Rock Oil -
"Hurry, before this wonderful product is depleted from Nature’s laboratory."
The Future's so Bright, I gotta wear Night Vision Goggles... |
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SleeperService
Joined: 02 May 2011
Posts: 923
Location: Nottingham UK
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| Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 3:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Mean Mr Mustard wrote: | | OK SleeperService.... Consider yourself forgiven - if you would kindly provide the museum research staff with some details of your 2000 mile BLT in wholemeal bread with a plastic coating. |
Dublin to Bristol (air) to Sheffield to Birmingham to Manchester (all road) to Isle of Man (air)
But the packaging is now enviromentally friendly
I'm looking for a different job now, I think I might turn violent soon 
I beg your forgiveness.
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On the point of giving up and dropping out.... |
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Mean Mr Mustard
Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1415
Location: Cambridgeshire
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| Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 10:09 pm Post subject: |
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| SleeperService wrote: | | Mean Mr Mustard wrote: | | OK SleeperService.... Consider yourself forgiven - if you would kindly provide the museum research staff with some details of your 2000 mile BLT in wholemeal bread with a plastic coating. |
Dublin to Bristol (air) to Sheffield to Birmingham to Manchester (all road) to Isle of Man (air)
But the packaging is now enviromentally friendly
I'm looking for a different job now, I think I might turn violent soon
I beg your forgiveness. |
Hey, forgiven.. You're just a mere cog in the machine.
But air??? Sandwiches??? Now I know why these sarnies cost £3.00...
The good news is this is where the energy savings will come from first.
_________________
1855 Advertisement for Kier's Rock Oil -
"Hurry, before this wonderful product is depleted from Nature’s laboratory."
The Future's so Bright, I gotta wear Night Vision Goggles... |
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nexus
Joined: 16 May 2009
Posts: 1100
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| Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 10:25 pm Post subject: |
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+1 to MMM!
Is there much PO awareness in the haulier community?
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When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe- John Muir |
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Mean Mr Mustard
Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1415
Location: Cambridgeshire
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| Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 9:14 am Post subject: |
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| nexus wrote: |
Is there much PO awareness in the haulier community? |
I would imagine there may be some PO awareness within Peak Oil Ltd, Derbyshire. As someone mentioned a while back, maybe they regularly get phone calls to remind them.
"Hallo, can I speak to Colin Campbell, or Richard Heinberg please?" 
Here at the Museum of the Oil Age, it's an occasional topic of discussion why haulage firms didn't react. They were already on the edge with fuel costs as early as 2000 - the fuel truckers were the ones who applied leverage or at least looked the other way as the UK closed for business for a few days in September 2000. The UK firms were being undercut for a while by European trucks using cheaper continental fuel. It's likely the Directors of these firms were too small or preoccupied with their many immediate financial crises to even notice the longer term risk of Peak Oil.
For those who had the luxury of time to study and discuss it, it was obvious. Everyone else was just too busy to accept there was an immediate problem.
_________________
1855 Advertisement for Kier's Rock Oil -
"Hurry, before this wonderful product is depleted from Nature’s laboratory."
The Future's so Bright, I gotta wear Night Vision Goggles... |
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JavaScriptDonkey
Joined: 02 Jun 2011
Posts: 1473
Location: SE England
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| Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 11:25 pm Post subject: |
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A simple light bulb with a sign explaining how the dark night was once alive with light.
It would have to be by a window of course and you could only go in during the day.
Well only on Sunday afternoons really as that's the only day we'll have off from our back breaking agricultural labour. |
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featherstick
Joined: 05 Mar 2010
Posts: 1216
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 9:06 am Post subject: |
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In response to visitor demand, the MOA has installed lightbulbs in some of its major exhibit halls. This exciting initiative will mean that the exhibits can be seen between the hours of dusk and dawn.
In order to maintain our low prices and policy of universal access, visitors will now be required to spend 15 minutes each on the treadmills which have been situated between the ticket booth and the entrance. This will mean that the MOA does not have to purchase extra carbon credits in order to run the lightbulbs.
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"Tea's a good drink - keeps you going" |
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Mean Mr Mustard
Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1415
Location: Cambridgeshire
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:28 am Post subject: |
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Dear Featherstick,
A warm welcome to you as a valued member of the museum staff. Unfortunately, (as was even the case for many museums during the Oil Age), we can't actually pay you anything, beyond a few complementary tickets for your friends.
Docent that make you sad... 
Mean Mr Mustard
(Self appointed) Museum Director
_________________
1855 Advertisement for Kier's Rock Oil -
"Hurry, before this wonderful product is depleted from Nature’s laboratory."
The Future's so Bright, I gotta wear Night Vision Goggles...
Last edited by Mean Mr Mustard on Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:34 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Mean Mr Mustard
Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1415
Location: Cambridgeshire
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:29 am Post subject: |
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There are plans for an agricultural section, using actual tractors instead of the usual Shire Horses, in an exciting partnership with the neighboring village farm. Ploughing days etc will be announced nearer the time, being weather and fuel dependent.
_________________
1855 Advertisement for Kier's Rock Oil -
"Hurry, before this wonderful product is depleted from Nature’s laboratory."
The Future's so Bright, I gotta wear Night Vision Goggles... |
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biffvernon
Joined: 24 Nov 2005
Posts: 13905
Location: Lincolnshire
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:39 am Post subject: |
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Hmmm...thing is that a tractor like that can feed itself with oil from the biodiesel crops it grows and still have a surplus to build it's successor and produce some food. (Assuming the industrial infrastructure from iron mine to showroom stay intact.)
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http://www.transitiontownlouth.org.uk |
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Mean Mr Mustard
Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1415
Location: Cambridgeshire
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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Whenever we have ten visitors on the treadmill, we open up this fascinating exhibit. (It's actually only two aisles wide, and all the 'product' is firmly glued to the shelves. You have to imagine the other twenty aisles).
We have a game for the kids and grownups alike - you get given a long shopping list - identify the exact branded product from the choice of ten or so others, and note the shelf number, all inside twenty minutes - remember who pressured folks were back then! Any fully correct answer sheets get 10% off their admission.
Marvel at the bottled water! And Cheez Doodles!
_________________
1855 Advertisement for Kier's Rock Oil -
"Hurry, before this wonderful product is depleted from Nature’s laboratory."
The Future's so Bright, I gotta wear Night Vision Goggles... |
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