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Museum of the Oil Age
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emordnilap



Joined: 05 Sep 2007
Posts: 11674
Location: way out west

PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 10:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The jet ski; the outdoor heater; the quad; the golf cart; the escalator; the automatic door; the air conditioner; the satnav; the plasma tv; the tumble drier; the ride-on mower; the helicopter; the personal jet; the American dream.
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Mean Mr Mustard



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1544
Location: Cambridgeshire

PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 1:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

To quote Roger Waters,

Quote:
I think I need a Lear Jet.
Twisted Evil

Welcome y'all, to the American Dream Hall!! Experience a short escalator ride, and sit on soft furnishings in the air conditioned foyer (for up to ten minutes only).

Exhibits are as listed above, and more!

Cool Cool Cool

You can 'mow' the (astroturf) lawn on our sit-down mower for just £2500 for five minutes. (Age restrictions apply) While your friends and family sit on the patio, complete with patio heaters (don't worry, they're display only, in accordance with the law, which as everyone knows, has long imposed severe punishments for actual use.)

A friendly warning though for the easily impressed - we're going to bombard you with advertisements for stuff you don't need and even some dubious medications to help you cope. That was really how they lived back then.

Shocked Shocked Shocked

Then, brace yourselves as you enter the darkened hall next door -

A Fate Worse than Debt.
Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Shocked

Quote:
Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends -
We're so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside!
There behind a glass, stands a real blade of grass
Be careful as you pass, move along, move along...


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SleeperService



Joined: 02 May 2011
Posts: 1099
Location: Nottingham UK

PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mean Mr Mustard wrote:
The museum restoration team are looking to complete research on a HGV in the colours of a bottled water company. The colour scheme is currently speculative, as it seems many of these lorries adopted anonymous markings. This followed the backlash against transporting of plastic bottles of water by road to people who already had a water supply.

Naive spelt backwards...? Cool


Hmmm... and what was in my lorry today, yep H2O to Manchester Embarassed

Close second premade sandwiches you wouldn't believe the routing they take.

I'll just duck now Laughing
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Mean Mr Mustard



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1544
Location: Cambridgeshire

PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK SleeperService.... Consider yourself forgiven - if you would kindly provide the museum research staff with some details of your 2000 mile BLT in wholemeal bread with a plastic coating.
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Mean Mr Mustard



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
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Location: Cambridgeshire

PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Museum of the Oil Age is very pleased to show its latest acquisition:


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SleeperService



Joined: 02 May 2011
Posts: 1099
Location: Nottingham UK

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 3:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mean Mr Mustard wrote:
OK SleeperService.... Consider yourself forgiven - if you would kindly provide the museum research staff with some details of your 2000 mile BLT in wholemeal bread with a plastic coating.


Dublin to Bristol (air) to Sheffield to Birmingham to Manchester (all road) to Isle of Man (air)

But the packaging is now enviromentally friendly Laughing

I'm looking for a different job now, I think I might turn violent soon Evil or Very Mad

I beg your forgiveness.
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Mean Mr Mustard



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
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Location: Cambridgeshire

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SleeperService wrote:
Mean Mr Mustard wrote:
OK SleeperService.... Consider yourself forgiven - if you would kindly provide the museum research staff with some details of your 2000 mile BLT in wholemeal bread with a plastic coating.


Dublin to Bristol (air) to Sheffield to Birmingham to Manchester (all road) to Isle of Man (air)

But the packaging is now enviromentally friendly Laughing

I'm looking for a different job now, I think I might turn violent soon Evil or Very Mad

I beg your forgiveness.


Hey, forgiven.. You're just a mere cog in the machine.

But air??? Sandwiches??? Now I know why these sarnies cost £3.00...

The good news is this is where the energy savings will come from first.
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nexus



Joined: 16 May 2009
Posts: 1265

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

+1 to MMM!

Is there much PO awareness in the haulier community?
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Mean Mr Mustard



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1544
Location: Cambridgeshire

PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 9:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

nexus wrote:

Is there much PO awareness in the haulier community?


I would imagine there may be some PO awareness within Peak Oil Ltd, Derbyshire. As someone mentioned a while back, maybe they regularly get phone calls to remind them.

"Hallo, can I speak to Colin Campbell, or Richard Heinberg please?" Very Happy

Here at the Museum of the Oil Age, it's an occasional topic of discussion why haulage firms didn't react. They were already on the edge with fuel costs as early as 2000 - the fuel truckers were the ones who applied leverage or at least looked the other way as the UK closed for business for a few days in September 2000. The UK firms were being undercut for a while by European trucks using cheaper continental fuel. It's likely the Directors of these firms were too small or preoccupied with their many immediate financial crises to even notice the longer term risk of Peak Oil.

For those who had the luxury of time to study and discuss it, it was obvious. Everyone else was just too busy to accept there was an immediate problem.
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JavaScriptDonkey



Joined: 02 Jun 2011
Posts: 1690
Location: SE England

PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 11:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A simple light bulb with a sign explaining how the dark night was once alive with light.

It would have to be by a window of course and you could only go in during the day.

Well only on Sunday afternoons really as that's the only day we'll have off from our back breaking agricultural labour.
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featherstick



Joined: 05 Mar 2010
Posts: 1326

PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 9:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In response to visitor demand, the MOA has installed lightbulbs in some of its major exhibit halls. This exciting initiative will mean that the exhibits can be seen between the hours of dusk and dawn.

In order to maintain our low prices and policy of universal access, visitors will now be required to spend 15 minutes each on the treadmills which have been situated between the ticket booth and the entrance. This will mean that the MOA does not have to purchase extra carbon credits in order to run the lightbulbs.
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Mean Mr Mustard



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1544
Location: Cambridgeshire

PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear Featherstick,

A warm welcome to you as a valued member of the museum staff. Unfortunately, (as was even the case for many museums during the Oil Age), we can't actually pay you anything, beyond a few complementary tickets for your friends.

Docent that make you sad... Confused

Mean Mr Mustard
(Self appointed) Museum Director
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1855 Advertisement for Kier's Rock Oil -
"Hurry, before this wonderful product is depleted from Nature’s laboratory."

The Future's so Bright, I gotta wear Night Vision Goggles...


Last edited by Mean Mr Mustard on Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:34 am; edited 1 time in total
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Mean Mr Mustard



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1544
Location: Cambridgeshire

PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are plans for an agricultural section, using actual tractors instead of the usual Shire Horses, in an exciting partnership with the neighboring village farm. Ploughing days etc will be announced nearer the time, being weather and fuel dependent.


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The Future's so Bright, I gotta wear Night Vision Goggles...
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biffvernon



Joined: 24 Nov 2005
Posts: 16442
Location: Lincolnshire

PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmmm...thing is that a tractor like that can feed itself with oil from the biodiesel crops it grows and still have a surplus to build it's successor and produce some food. (Assuming the industrial infrastructure from iron mine to showroom stay intact.)
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Mean Mr Mustard



Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 1544
Location: Cambridgeshire

PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 4:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whenever we have ten visitors on the treadmill, we open up this fascinating exhibit. (It's actually only two aisles wide, and all the 'product' is firmly glued to the shelves. You have to imagine the other twenty aisles).

We have a game for the kids and grownups alike - you get given a long shopping list - identify the exact branded product from the choice of ten or so others, and note the shelf number, all inside twenty minutes - remember who pressured folks were back then! Any fully correct answer sheets get 10% off their admission.

Marvel at the bottled water! And Cheez Doodles!


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The Future's so Bright, I gotta wear Night Vision Goggles...
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